"Strange Q... kill what's inside of you"

I like BBQ. I don't love BBQ. I certainly don't live BBQ.

It's good enough, but given the obsession that surrounds it in some circles, I think it's highly overrated. I think part of that comes from the fact that it's a mystery to a lot of people. Somewhat like lobster, they think it's something they just can't prepare themselves. The truth is, it's very simple to make good BBQ, though some make it an obsession and spend a lifetime trying to master it. I have zero desire to try. The law of diminishing returns kicks in very early in learning to "Q."

Unfortunately, it's also very easy to make bad BBQ. Very, very bad BBQ.

While I certainly don't live in a BBQ hotbed (heh), there are a couple of places in the region to get some decent Q. That said, none of them are very convenient, which makes it worth my while to just make my own from time-to-time.

When some signs went up for a new, local BBQ carryout this summer, I was intrigued - it would be a nice change of pace from the standard pizza/sub/seafood/Chinese fare.

I finally got a chance to try it today. The menu had the basics - pulled pork, ribs, brisket - along with a lot of standard local stuff like pit beef/ham/turkey. Hmmm... when a place like that tries to do too much, they normally don't do any of it very well.

I wanted to get a good sense of the place so I ordered a half rack of ribs and a pulled pork sandwich. The pulled pork came with Eastern NC-style sauce. Given the choice of Eastern NC, Western NC, or SC-style sauces, Eastern would be about my eighth choice, but I digress...

My first bite of the sandwich... dry, stringy, tasteless... hmm... maybe I just got a section with more bread than meat and no sauce... second bite... hmm... the bread is now soggy, the meat still dry - but at least it now has a taste... sort of like bleach.

At that point, I had to open the sandwich up to make sure what was inside was actually meant for human consumption. It looked like actual food... sorta. The pork itself was brownish-gray and was shredded or chopped very finely - certainly not "pulled." It showed no evidence of bark or "brownies" (which wasn't on the menu, so they weren't saving it to be sold separately), nor any sign of seasoning or smoke at all. The only evidence of "sauce" was a couple of red pepper flakes and the soggy bun.

I'm still amazed that I took one more bite before tossing it in the trash. Must've been the sheer shock factor.

At this point, I was pretty frightened of the ribs, but hey, how much worse could they be?

They weren't quite as bad as the "pulled pork," but that's not saying much. Their sauce was unremarkable and clearly mass-produced, but inoffensive. The ribs themselves also showed no sign of smoke, but yet achieved the head-shaking combination of being both dry and undercooked (the heat was probably too high). The meat was "done" but still clung very tightly to the bones. It wasn't worth trying to gnaw off, anyway.

At least I didn't order the brisket. ;)