Things That Make Me Happy - #11

Growing Tomato Plants

Squash are insecure.

It's probably the result of a bad childhood. They need to be loved - by someone. By anyone. Early bloomers, they're the first to flaunt their assets to anyone who passes by - large, sprawling leaves, perky blossoms. They scream "Love me!"

Their beauty also fades early, however, and before they know it they're the leathered cougar sitting in the bar looking for any attention they can get. By the end of their season, they've put out so much that everyone's had them and they can't give it away.

Eggplants are different. They're shy and reserved - the girl next door. Their purple blossoms are smaller and more subtle. It takes a longer look to see their potential, but it's definitely there. They're used to living in squash's considerable shadow - Mary Ann to squash's Ginger. Maybe the eggplant was once a tomboy, but the few in the know now have learned about that thing she can do with her tongue and...

Where was I?

Um, pepper plants are bitter. They're mad as hell and they're not gonna take it anymore. They're not anyone's favorite and they know it. You can give them all the attention in the world and it's not gonna matter 'cause they're not doing a thing until they're damn good and ready. It's just spite. By then, though, it's too late. Nobody cares.

Cool as a cucumber? Yeah, pretty much. Cukes know what the deal is. They just hang out in the corner and do their own thing. They don't need anything from you and don't really care whether you notice them or not. They can be a little prickly, but it's just a surface thing. All for show. They're comfortable in their own skin and it shows.

The star of the show, however, is the tomato plant. She's the All-American girl. The apple of everyone's eye. *insert other positive metaphors here* She can rock the little black dress, but is even hotter in a pair of old blue jeans. She may take a little care, but you love to do it all the same. Treat her right and she'll love you long time. There is no substitute.

She's the reason we toil, the reason we sweat
Come forth from the soil, beloved raison d'être