So, thanks...

... for all the nice comments about the headstone. It's not like I thought anyone would publicly comment that it was ugly or tacky or whatever, but still, I appreciate the words.

Our family's cemetery has quite a few different sections, some dating to the 19th century. The monuments in those are mostly marble and, save for the occasional gargoyle, very simple. My grandparents are buried in another section with a simple gray stone with just a bit of ornamentation.

Monument design has gotten a lot more unique in the past 15 years or so. My mother liked my great-aunt's stone, which was the first I ever saw having color. It was a coastal lighthouse scene on gray granite. So, from that, I knew she wasn't against something "non-traditional."

I wasn't sold on having color, though. There are some that look like coloring book scenes to me, and I think they can border on tacky. I thought I wanted just a scene etched on black granite - black and white, no color. I knew it had to be something different, though. The same lighthouse scene that my great-uncle picked out of a catalog 15 years ago is now everywhere. I liked the "nautical" idea since we spent so much of our lives around the water, but I knew I had to make it personal, and it had to be more of a "Bay" scene rather than of the coast.

The elements finally came together for me one night and I just sat down to draw. Talk about pressure - that's way worse than Pictionary. By that time, I had walked around the section in which she is buried and found that it's somewhat festive, for lack of a better term.

When I was younger, that area of the cemetery was a grove of trees, but they were removed in recent years to make more room for plots. Since it's a new section, there are stones with all sorts of designs - some traditional, but more often than not, the stones will be a non-traditional shape, or feature certain images (sometimes even an etched portrait of the deceased *shudder*), or have color. There seem to be a lot of young people in this particular section as well - infants, toddlers, and young adults. As a result, they have a lot of living family and friends who frequently visit. The section is always full of flowers and people seem to go all out decorating on and around the stones at the holidays - even Halloween. That may make some traditionalist cringe, but I think it's kinda cool. Seeing one particular stone there - a unique (though coastal) lighthouse with a setting sun - made me think that color wasn't such a bad thing after all.

I've probably written too many posts about it and have again spent too many words here, but it has been something that's been on my mind for the last six months (to the day, as a matter of fact). I had to make a lot of quick decisions in a short period back then, often without a clear head. I'm honestly surprised at how well I (think I) did. Lemme tell ya, things like going through a parent's closet to chose the clothes in which they'll be buried are not things you want to do. (And again, thanks to those of you who were there for support back then.)

In retrospect, I'm comfortable with all the decisions I had to make. I don't know what I would've changed. I don't think I can ask for anything more than that.

I talked to my cousin about her mother's stone, and she said that the color fades over time. I rendered one of the pictures I took last week in black and white, and I think it still looks really good. I guess that's fitting. As I've already begun to find, time will inevitably wash the color from our memories, too.

I hope they'll still be pretty good in black and white.